You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
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