so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
Randomize
