We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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