it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
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