Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
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