In the future we'll all be gay
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Randomize
