Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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