i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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