i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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