I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
Blood and glitter go together right?
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
Randomize
