just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
Randomize
