I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
