who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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