i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
I'm experimenting with sincerity
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
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