His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize
