please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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