I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Randomize
