so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
Your penis caused this!
Randomize
