Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
