I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
