The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
