Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Randomize
