I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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