I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
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