that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
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