I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
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