Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
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