Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
Randomize
