Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
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