Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
Randomize
