a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize
