Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
Randomize