apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
