beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
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