I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
Do you remember whose house we're in?
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
