I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
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