theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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