Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
My ass is underappreciated
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
