Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
Randomize
