Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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