My brain says no but my pants say off.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
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