When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
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