That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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