I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
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