Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
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