I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
Lo siento on account of my penis...
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
Randomize
