do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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