fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
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I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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