two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
