its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
i will never coherently bang her
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
