Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
Randomize
