I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
