Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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