How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Randomize
