but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize
