She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize
