i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
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