Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Randomize
