somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.