lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
