her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
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