normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
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